Charlie’s Memorable One-Liners
Charlie Cox joined the BTCC in 1995, racing an independent Ford Mondeo for his Thames Ford Dealers team. After a varied season of racing in the series, Cox turned to commentating on the BTCC on occasion in 1996, before becoming Murray Walker’s permanent side kick for 1997.
When Walker left the BTCC commentary booth at the end of the 1997 season, Cox became the lead commentator of the TV coverage and was joined by former Grand Prix winner, John Watson. The pair were a match made in heaven – Watson became known for his strong views on driving standards, with Cox becoming well known for his hilarious one-liners. The chemistry between the pair was clear to see and hear.
Today, we’ve put together a number of Cox’s best one-liners during his time in the BTCC.
“Tell JCB to hold off Muller? That’s like trying to hold off the Terminator with a water pistol! Ya gotta be kidding!”
Snetterton 1999 – Jason Plato radioed his team asking team mate Boullion to hold up Yvan Muller.
“Rustad will be writing home to Mum, ‘I’ve just passed Alain Menu, the defending champion & I nearly lost it in the process!”
Silverstone 1998 – Guest Renault driver, Tommy Rustad overtakes Alain Menu & runs wide in the process!
“Outta the way, fatso!”
Oultin Park 2000 – The Michelin man gets in the way of Charlie’s gridwalk live on TV.
“Howdy Audi, welcome back to the front of the grid!”
Oulton Park 1997 – After a decrease of ballast for 4WD cars, the Audi A4s made it back to the front of the grid.
“Look at the front of it, look at the state of it! It looks like he’s used it in a ram raid!”
SIlverstone 1998 – After having a physical battle with Alain Menu, Peter Kox brings his damaged Honda into the pits.
“He must feel like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog day, every day is the same – every Lap is the same! Every lap Menu come around, he has to pass Radisich…. and he’s got to do it again!”
Oulton Park 1998 – Being last to pit, Paul Radisich finds himself in the lead of the race. Alain Menu caught Radisich after a pit stop & was angry about how much Paul was defending to take a point for leading a lap. After a long pit stop and subsequent drive-through penalty for speeding, Radisich emerged from the pits in front of Menu again, this time one lap down.
“You couldnt kill that Vauxhall with a stick, could ya? There’s not a straight panel left on it!”
Snetterton 1999 – After a strong battle with Boullion, Plato and Thompson, Yvan Muller’s Vauxhall was looking a little worse for wear.
“Look! Reidy’s door is opening! You can’t get out now, sunshine – you’re busy!”
Brands Hatch 1999 – After a strong battle with Yvan Muller, Anthony Reid’s driver side door flies open from damage.
“It looks like he’s going around trying to pick up hitchikers!”
Brands Hatch 1999 – More fun being poked at Anthony Reid’s door being open.
“Reid’ll be pulling what’s left of his hair out to try to get past Leslie!”
Donington Park 2000 – Anthony Reid whilst trying every move possible to get past David Leslie, who was standing in for the injured James Thompson.
“Oh, look at it! It looks like a scene from the Sound of Music!”
Donington 1998 – After John Bintcliffe was spotted driving down the Craner Curves at full speed over the grass, cutting the dandelions everywhere.
“We’ve got another game of Bintcliffe Billiards here, that’s one of the Audi’s off – this time it’s Biela!”
Croft 1997 – John Bintcliffe punts Audi team mate Frank Biela into the gravel. It was the second time Bintcliffe had punted his team mate out of the race in 1997.
“His pit crew will be able to get jobs at traffic lights, cleaning windscreens in the off season, they’ll be pretty well practiced!”
Thruxton 1998 – After Anthony Reid’s second pit stop to clean his windscreen, which was covered in muck and oil.
“They look like a pair of midnight mini-cabs, don’t they? Bits hanging off them everywhere!”
Thruxton 1998 – Contact at the Club chicane between Morbidelli and Baird left both their cars a bit worse for wear.
“Talk about keeping your speed down on the pit exit, they kept their speed down on that pit stop – I’ve seen faster tidal changes!”
Oulton Park 1998 – The Peugeot team struggle with a long pitstop.
“Poor old Tommy Rustad – what a day he’s having! He’s like the new kid in school, everyone’s bashing him up!”
Snetterton 1998 – Tommy Rustad has a tough day at the office with lots of contact.
“Look at Derek Warwick’s car! More front end damage again – it looks like a sandwich with a bite taken out of it!”
Silverstone 1998 – as Derek Warwick’s car has siginificant damage.
“As we go into Old Hall – there’s Muller indeed! Plato giving Muller a real tickle up the tail pipe as we go over Cascades!”
Oulton Park 1998 – Jason Plato runs really close behind Yvan Muller’s Audi as they go around Old Hall.
“Down through Church corner, look at them drifting sideways! Handfuls of opposite lock for Paul Radisich – that’s not driving, that’s crisis management!”
Thruxton 1998 – Paul Radisich has a lurid slide through Church corner.
“It’s a goal!”
Snetterton 1999 – After a tough battle in the midfield, Yvan Muller goes off out of control and rejoins the track and T-bones James Thompson.
“I tell you what Watty, if we have any more drive throughs, they’re going to have to start selling burgers and fries in the pit lane!”
Silverstone 1999 – After a number of drive through penalties were issued to drivers.
Look at the pair of them! What a mess – they look like a pair of grubby school boys who’ve been playing in their uniforms on the way home!”
Knockhill 1999 – After colliding with each other, Honda team mates James Thompson & Peter Kox crawl back to the pit lane, both damaged.
“It’ll be a strange old insurance claim made out by the Honda team, won’t it? Our Honda was hit by… er… our Honda.”
Oulton Park 1999 – After a first corner collision up front, Peter Kox runs into the back of his team mate James Thompson, causing heavy damage to both cars.
“David Leslie rubbing up and down Rickard Rydell like a stray cat in the street, as Aiello goes straight past his team mate!”
Thruxton 1999 – After some close racing between Rydell and Leslie, Aiello takes advantage and moves up a position.
“Nothing like kissing Volvos on the first couple of laps.. but not good for the pacemaker on the Volvo team manager!”
Thruxton 1997 – The Volvo team mates Burt & Rydell get very close together on the opening laps of the race at Club chicane.
“They’ve got about as much grip as a dog on lino, these two and they’ve just gone straight off into the wilderness!”
Thruxton 1997 – Will Hoy and Patrick Watts collide in very wet and slippery conditions.
“They’ll be terrified to go anywhere near him when he’s in a mood like this!”
Brands Hatch 1998 – Nigel Mansell is furious over the radio after being handed a drive through penalty for speeding in the pits.
“Never mind Yvan Muller, it’s Maul ’em Muller – he’s already smacked Peter Kox & now he’s muscled his way past Morbidelli!”
Brands Hatch 1998 – Yvan Muller got up close and personal with some tough moves on Peter Kox and Gianni Morbidelli.
“He’s having more than a look – take that! Peter Kox gives Alain Menu a punch in the ear!”
Silverstone 1998 – Peter Kox and Alain Menu have a very physical battle on track, culminating in Kox hitting Menu and damaging his car.
“Up ahead, there’s an oil flag! That will be from the Exxon Valdez dump that Robb Gravett committed a lap ago.”
Silverstone 1998 – Charlie compares Robb Gravett’s engine failure to the Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989.
“Alain Menu gives John Cleland the Two Wood up the backside and drives him down the fairway!”
Silverstone 1998 – Alain Menu runs straight into the back of John Cleland at Abbey and punts him off.
“Look at that! They’d be better off passing him a periscope!”
Donington Park 1999 – After Yvan Muller’s bonnet flew up during the race and covered his windscreen.
“It would have been really funny if they’d put him up on the air jacks and left him there!”
Silverstone 1999 – Laurent Aiello pulls into the Volvo pits, instead of the Nissan pits for his first ever BTCC pitstop.
“Throwing yourself in front of Jason Plato is like an eco-warrior throwing themselves in front of an oil tanker, you’re always going to come off second best!”
Silverstone 1999 – Rickard Rydell retires from the race after making a move on the outstide of Jason Plato.
“Kox has got Thompson hanging on to the back of him like a fridge magnet at the moment!”
Silverstone 1999 – James Thompson is pressuring team mate Peter Kox as he comes through the field.
“Talking about pressure, David Leslie having a big lunge down the inside, smoochie smoochie – he’s giving him a rub down!”
Thruxton 1999 – David Leslie and Rickard Rydell race very closely through Campbell, Cobb and Seagrave.
“Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, he’s there again – lunging at us!”
Thruxton 1998 – David Leslie and Rickard Rydell again race closely at Thruxton.
“Rydell doesn’t need a rear view mirror, because he can feel him! Tap Tap Tap on the back of his car every time!”
Thruxton 1998 – You guessed it, David Leslie & Rickard Rydell again…
“That’s Peter Kox being extracated from the gravel, look at that – it looks like someone’s knocked one of his teeth out!”
Donington Park 1999 – Matt Neal and Peter Kox come together, with Kox suffering front end damage.
“He needs points! He needs a problem like this like he needs a third armpit!”
Donington Park 1999 – Rickard Rydell was leading, but falling down the order with an electrical problem.
“This Boullion is really getting the hang of touring cars, he’s losing his manners fast!”
Donington Park 1999 – Boullion drives into the side of Radermecker to overtake him.
“There’s tension mounting on the pit wall there, it’s not so much a pit crew, but more like a meeting of the UN!”
Donington Park 1999 – As Nissan lead 1-2, Laurent Aiello is told not to overtake his team mate, but it doesn’t really look like he’s listening.
“I don’t think it was too rough, Murray, but I don’t think these two have ever passed each other without swapping paint & today was no exception. Neither of them are burdened by decorum when it comes to passing each other!”
Snetterton 1997 – John Cleland passes Tim Harvey, with the two making contact.
“This isn’t motor racing, it’s micro surgery!”
Brands Hatch 1999 – Matt Neal gets up close and personal with Anthony Reid’s Mondeo.
“She’s so beached that she’s going to have to wait for the tide to come in and wash her off!”
Brands Hatch 1999 – Paula Cook gets stuck on the kerb at Graham Hill Bend.
“Oh, it’s like watching butterflies mating!”
Silverstone 2000 – After Ford and Honda get particularly close to each other.
What are your favourites? Have we missed out one of your personal favourites? Post them in the comments below!
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